The Chemistry of Love
Anger, happiness, excitement & anxiety are all emotional states of mind that result from the release of chemicals in our body. Love is a complex feeling that involve these different emotions. In this article, I would like to explore the biological basis love. What is so fascinating about love is that it is abstract and concrete at the same time. When you fall love, you feel something but you can’t quite describe it. You can’t quite locate it. It is just sitting there. It can be hard to imagine that this abstract sensation you are feeling has a concrete dimension. In fact, when we fall in love, chemicals associated with the reward circuit are released in the brain producing a variety of emotional responses like racing heart rates, sweating, flushed cheeks, passion & anxiety.
I am going to discussed some of the main neurotransmitters & hormones released when we fall in love. To start with, when you have a strong sexual desire towards an individual testosterone & estrogen are released. Also, when you are attracted by someone you tend to stress once you confront your crush. Hence, your body releases the hormone adrenaline which triggers the body’s fight or flight response (increase heart rate & respiration, dilate blood vessels, dilate pupils etc.) Dopamine is also a neurotransmitter released when you fall in love because it contributes to the feeling of please and satisfaction as part of the reward system. Another neurotransmitter released is serotonin which contributes to the feeling of wellbeing & happiness. Furthermore, when you get attached to the person a hormone called oxytocin is released that reinforces bonding & attachment. It is released during sexual intercourse which explains why couples feel closer after having sex, labor to help with birth & breastfeeding to reinforce bonding with the baby. Vasopressin is the other hormone involved in attachment that produces long term monogamous relationship.
All these chemicals involved in love are similar to the ones we encounter in drug addiction. Therefore, in a sort of way, love is an addiction. Especially, when we fall in love, the ventral tegmental area, the nucleus accumbens, the amygdala, the hippocampus & the prefrontal cortex are activated. These brain areas are part of the reward system that is involved in addiction. Unhealthy love can cause the negative symptoms of addiction like withdrawal which involves irritability and sleep disturbance when the individual is separated from the addictive substance. Like with many drugs, the less you are able to get the drug, the more you desire it. This explains why when you are rejected by someone you often desire that person even more and can’t stop thinking about him or her.
Moreover, the different mixtures of hormones & neurotransmitters discussed above explain the existence of two types of love: romantic & compassionate love. Romantic love is filled with passion, fire and desire. It is an intense love that doesn’t involve commitment. Most of the time passionate love fades as attachment grows leading to compassionate love, sometimes called altruistic love. This type of love is seen in long term relationships and is characterized by feelings of respect, care, trust and affection towards another person.
When I think that love has biological roots, it raises some questions marks and makes me wonder: what if with the injection of the proper dosage of chemicals could restore faded love? What if we could make someone fall in love? These questions scare me because it would take away our freedom of choice. At the same time, the chemical formula of love is far more complex than what we know and goes beyond hormones and neurotransmitters. Scientists do know some of the chemicals involved in love but they still can’t explain why, for instance, you are attracted by that particular person. Also, love involves nurture (environment) and nature (genetics). You can’t solely define love from a biological perspective. Environmental factors such as socioeconomic backgrounds, culture, common interests & past history play an important role. Love is a magical part of our lives, it is so complex and fascinating that sometimes, I believe, we should just stop trying to understand it and leave it in the hands of mystery and destiny.
